


Loveletters

by estriel



Series: August Break 2019 [5]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 18:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20140372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Reading Yuzu's interviews is probably not the best strategy if one wants to forget him...





	Loveletters

**Author's Note:**

> Today's prompt for August Break was _currently reading_.  
The interview I'm quoting from is [this one](https://www.instagram.com/p/BxiYmjdIhro/). (Yes, Yuzu really said all that about Javi.) 
> 
> Also, if you are wondering what happened to yesterday's prompt (_citrus_) and why I skipped it... I didn't. It's just turning out unexpectedly long, so it will be finished and posted later.

Out of sight, out of mind, they say. Javi tries. It doesn’t work. Staying away from Yuzu has never quite worked.

Maybe reading all of Yuzu’s interviews is a habit Javi should consider changing, if he really wanted to get over Yuzu.

He always did that, read interviews, telling himself that it was just one of those  _ know thy enemy _ strategies. Of course, Yuzu only was an “enemy” in the most abstract sense of the word, and even that only on the ice, for those four and a half minutes of a free skate. In truth, however, it had always been Javi’s curiosity about Yuzu that made him seek out interview translations on Twitter. And it’s the curiosity that gets to him now, too. 

He hasn’t seen Yuzu in what feels like forever, even though realistically it has only been a couple of months. And now here he is, tearing up over an  _ interview _ . He just… misses Yuzu. That’s all. It’s not the fact that the interview reads like a fucking love letter.

_ Someone really important to me _ , Yuzu had said, apparently, speaking of him.  _ My constant pillar of support _ .

Javi can barely believe it, because he always thought  _ Yuzu _ was the pillar, that Javi was leaning on his steely strength to get where he needed to get, leaching off of Yuzu’s insane resolve and incredible discipline. 

_ When we skated together, we could naturally, purely enjoy skating in itself _ , the next bit says, Yuzu talking about their shared practices in PyeongChang. Javi remembers that as if it was yesterday, the way his legs felt like lead, the way everything inside him was seizing up on that Olympic ice, his last shot at a medal looming large and intimidating over him… Until Yuzu stepped onto the ice, and lead their stroking exercise, ever the stronger one, allowing Javi to just fall into rhythm and find his composure once again.

And then Yuzu talks about their most recent encounter, and the  _ utter happiness _ training with Javi again had given him and how he  _ wanted it to last forever _ , and Javi cannot fucking do this anymore. 

He has spent months –  _ years _ , really – trying to avoid Yuzu, in more ways than one. To avoid that smile that puts the brightest sunrise to shame, to avoid those eyes that seem to bore into your very soul, to avoid looking too much at that body that is so perfect for figure skating… or maybe just perfect for everything, at least in Javi’s mind.

Mostly he has tried avoiding falling in love. But damn him, Yuzu makes that so hard. And Javi is tired of being Sysiphus, always pushing away that wondrous boulder that is Yuzu… and Yuzu’s love. Because Javi knows Yuzu loves him.

He didn’t even need Miki to call him the moment she saw that self-recorded message Yuzu had contributed to the compilation of well-wishes Javi received before Europeans. She had screamed at him at length about the ‘ _ I will respect you forever _ ’ that Yuzu had just thrown out into the world, about how that basically equals saying  _ I love you forever _ , for a Japanese person.

Javi knows. He has known for a long time. And he knows his own heart, too. Avoiding Yuzu, or hoping he could ever forget him, was foolishness.

He sighs. Closes Twitter, and that interview. And books that flight to Toronto he has been looking at daily pretty much since the moment he left Canada. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just to avoid confusion: saying "I respect you" in Japan does not necessarily translate to "I love you". But it can signify a deep level of affection/admiration (according to what I have read), so of course I am taking artistic licenses and stretching the interpretation as far as it will go for the purposes of the story. :)


End file.
